A Few Thoughts on Women’s Mental Health

I had a thought-provoking chat on the radio with Jaime Lewis this week. Jaime and I have known of one another for quite some time and share several mutual friends. We’d only met once before, but instantly connected around our many shared interests. When Jaime asked if I’d like to have an on-air chat about the state of women’s mental health, I said yes! 

We covered a wide range of topics from the impact of social media to the need for the Mindful Moderation course for women, to why therapists need their own therapists. You can catch that convo here. I’ve had so many thoughts since that conversation - I jotted a few more for you here:

1. Women are more stressed out than ever.* I see this with my clients every day, whether they are 18 years old and headed off to college, or 38 with little ones at home, or 58 and figuring out their next chapter of life - they all feel overwhelmed. And big alcohol is having a heyday, spending $6 billion on advertising, which now frequently targets women*. The “mommy wine culture” accurately reflects how stressed women are, but doesn’t actually solve any problems. Over the course of my career, I’ve been disheartened to watch women’s rates of problem drinking catch up to and now match men’s rates*. 

This is why I created Mindful Moderation. While we don’t have to make everything all good or all bad, there is a much more nuanced conversation to have about how we drink, why we drink, and when we choose to drink. Since creating the course and posting regularly on social media regarding this topic, I’ve watched my own relationship with alcohol evolve. Just breaking down the stories we’ve been told and then consciously exploring our decisions can create quite the impact!

2. Our smartphones are hurting us.* Over the years, I’ve used all kinds of rationalizations, telling myself my phone makes my job easier, social media keeps me more connected to long distance friends and family, and I love the ease of telehealth. But there is no denying the very real side effects I’ve experienced since having a smartphone. I am more distracted. My sleep is worse. I miss the benefits of nature and daydreaming.

What I’m doing to manage this? I’ve decided that my phone is not invited to every part of my life. I’m choosing not to take my phone with me on walks and hikes - I think listening to podcasts was useful, but reducing the quality of my long hikes. So now, I’m focusing on enjoying the sounds of nature and being fully present. I’m also ready to begin keeping my phone outside of my bedroom. Time for a challenge!

For parents, I’d recommend modeling healthy boundaries with your phones and social media. It can help to have times where all family members are expected to put their phones away. Engage your child in age appropriate conversations about reactions to phones and how they are both useful, but problematic. 

3. Sexism, especially in the form of judging and objectifying women’s bodies, hasn’t gone away. In fact, front facing cameras, social media, and the ability to use filters have made us even more critical of female bodies, including our own.* Younger girls are even more at risk, but no one is immune. 

Setting boundaries with social media and talking back to negative body talk are important safe-guards. Being intentional about the accounts you follow is another important conscious decision to make. Unfollow any accounts that make you feel bad or leave you stuck in comparison.

While women have always struggled more with challenges like anxiety and depression, there are current events that are negatively impacting our mental health. It’s not all bad news - we all have choices we can make that protect us from further worsening our mental health. 

References

*Atkinson, A.M. et al. (2022). “Pretty in Pink’ and ‘Girl Power”: An analysis of the targeting and representation of women in alcohol brand marketing on Facebook and Instagram, International Journal of Drug Policy, Volume 101,103547. ISSN 0955-3959. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.drugpo.2021.103547

American Psychological Association (2023). Stress in America 2023. A nation recovering from collective trauma. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2023/collective-trauma-recovery

Haight, J. (2024). The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. Penguin Random House.