Has your Dry January experiment ended prematurely? Or perhaps you thought about doing Dry January, but never took the jump? Maybe you don’t have any intention to try to stay sober for 31 days, but you have thought it might be good to cut back on your drinking… maybe something like “damp January”.

Regardless of how you have arrived at this moment (no judgment — seriously), there are ways to approach your decision making around drinking to set you up for a better January and beyond. In fact, I generally don't recommend Dry January. I'm not really a fan of all-or-nothing strategies and what I see is people setting unrealistic goals and then feeling like failures for not following through on something they never intended to actually do. 

Instead, I suggest Mindful Drinking. Mindful Drinking involves consciously making decisions based on what you need in a specific moment. Here are a few strategies to incorporate to further explore or address your relationship with drinking.

Start with Tracking

The first thing you want to do is to explore:

why you drink

when you drink

and how you drink.

This gives you information that will help you make informed decisions about your drinking in the future. Keep a log or use an app to track your drinks each day. Take notes on what you consume and how much you consume. Is the amount you drink the actual amount you planned to, or does it tend to creep up? Who are the people you are drinking with and does your drinking behavior change based on where you are or who you are with? Also track how you were feeling before consuming and after, including the next day. Are you hungover? Depressed? Do you have a shorter fuse? Begin to pay attention to any trends.

You may find that your drinking choices begin to shift and change just because you are paying attention to them. This doesn’t have to be the case, but there is often a natural shift that comes with paying attention. When you are conscious of what is happening, you are able to be more intentional moment to moment. There’s a lot of research in psychology revealing that what we monitor, we can change, and this is especially useful when it comes to goals. This is a core component of Mindful Drinking. 

Set Intentions

Just because you’re not committing to an experiment like Dry January, it’s still ok to set goals for yourself. You might want to track your drinking for a week or two and then set goals and intentions based on what you’ve noticed. Most of us are familiar with SMART goals, which addresses that ensuring goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed generally sets you up for success.

I often have clients coming into therapy saying “I want to drink less.” While that is a good place to start, it can help to add in some SMART details to this goal.

Specific: what kind of alcohol you will consume (no hard alcohol, just beer or wine)?

Measurable: how many drinks you want to consume daily (no more than 2 drinks on weeknights) or how many days per week you want to consume (only on weekends)?

Achievable: rank on a scale of 1 to 5 (with 5 being absolutely confident), how likely are you to follow through on your goal? If you are less confident than a 3, then you need a different, more attainable goal. I often have clients tell me that they plan on not drinking at all, but when we talk about the upcoming weekend, it doesn’t sound like they can follow through on that plan. 

Realistic: look at your own data collection and your past history to see if the goal you are setting is realistic. Perhaps you are telling yourself you won’t drink around your family, but looking back on the past few years, that may be highly unrealistic. 

Time frame: I generally encourage people to start out thinking only about the next 7 days. This is one benefit I see when it comes to Dry January — it only requires you to plan for the next 31 days, but I would start with a shorter plan. That gives you enough room to try on a goal, but not too far for it to be overwhelming. Promise yourself that you will reassess at the end of the 7 days and if something is working, you can continue with it.

Bonus: In addition to identifying smart goals, it is helpful to write your specific intention down somewhere you will consistently see it. And be sure to tell someone. There is all kind of evidence supporting the fact that we are more likely to follow through on our goals and intentions if we have someone holding us accountable. Whether it’s a roommate or loved one, a therapist, or a support group, find support and accountability with at least one person you trust.

Tell Yourself New Stories

Examine the things you say to yourself and the stories you have been told throughout your life. Now is the perfect time to unlearn old family and cultural messages about what role alcohol plays in your life and will continue to do so. Perhaps you come from a family (or a culture) that sees alcohol as necessary to celebrate, to cope, to relax, etc.. Know that just because that is a story you have been told, it does not have to be true for you. Maybe you've been told that you have “an addictive personality” or that you “just can’t handle your alcohol” or that you’ll “always be a screw up”. Know that these are just stories (probably projections from someone else) and they no longer have to define you. ALL humans have the capacity to change behavior and YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION!

So whether you decide to be completely sober for 31 days in January (or October or July or whenever) or try out any other goal, know that you are capable of change and growth and have the capacity to make new decisions and can begin again today or any day in the future. It starts with small steps, like tracking your drinking and setting short-term goals for the week ahead. Trust me: You can do this! 

Need more support as you start to practice Mindful Drinking? Join the Mindful Moderation Course for six weeks of guidance and lifetime monthly support calls!